With Long Term Sex Pt. 1 and Long Term Sex Pt. 2, I dropped a few gems on how to reacquaint yourselves with your mate. This isn’t detailed information, but it’s enough to get you thinking about how you and your mate communicate and show love to one another. Keep your eyes open for my book, Soul Tied: The Art of Connecting Intimately for more sexual how-to tips and ideas. What I have given you should help you to put some sexy moves into motion for you to begin having a more active sex life.
Here in part three, I will discuss our roles as men and women in a relationship and give a few suggestions to keep the sexual ball rolling forward and in a more positive direction.
Sistas, I am you and you are me so I know how our attitudes can be sometimes. Sometimes our ‘tudes can be on straight stank mode. Our facial expressions tell a full story of how we feel from the blank stare which says you don’t care to the constant eye roll and the arms crossed tightly over your chest. Your body language speaks volumes. Couple that with the snappy comebacks and rude tones and you have an argument ready to happen.
Brothas, you know sometimes you come in with the overbearing, know-it-all attitudes with demanding needs. Your abrasive tone and I-can-be-a-bitch-too voice can make conversation and your home atmosphere uncomfortable for your mate.
Get some understanding along with a better grip on your roles in your relationship. Women are supposed to be the helpmate, the partner, the one that helps it all come together in a better package. Men are supposed to be the head of household and the leader of the family. I know, some of you are saying you’re playing these roles but my question to you is, are you really? Sit down with your mate and find out the truth. Have you discussed expectations? This is 2020 which we have all claimed to be the “Year of Clear Vision.” See where you are and if you are doing what is needed of you for your mate.
Men, keep in mind a woman will not follow if her leader is weak and leads her to nothing. Ladies, remember you do not have to do it all. Remind each other of your royal positions in your household. How can a King be a King without his Queen? Of course, that question flows the other way as well. If you are treating your King like he is the court jester or you’re treating your Queen like she is a peasant, then there is your answer on why your palace if fucked up. Respect is the key to any relationship. If you don’t respect your mate, your home is like a deck of cards in the eye of a hurricane.
Once you have worked out how to bring yourselves back to a common ground sensually, you need to do the small things to keep your connection. It’s the little things that count.
- Hold hands. Yep, take it back to high school where you used to hold hands and walk down the halls being the cutest couple in the building. Hand holding is powerful.
- Compliment your mate. Let her know she looks great in that dress and tell him you love how his beard is growing in. Let them know you see their glow!
- Listen. You rush everything and everybody throughout the day. Take the time to listen to your mate when they speak. Sure, it may be about nothing to you, but hear them out respectfully. You will learn something.
- Work on a task together. Does he need to paint that back bedroom? No, Y’ALL need to paint that back bedroom. Does she need to rearrange the furniture to have more space in the family room? Naw, Y’ALL need to rearrange the furniture. You work together, you see your hard work completed together.
- Plan couple time. Do something just for the two of you. No children, no other couples, just you and your mate.
Put aside the petty bullshit and become the strong couple you can be.