Is texting fucking up the dating scene?
It’s 2020 as we all know, and we are living in the age of the Jetsons. Well, almost. I’m still waiting to own a flying car and to have Rosie the Maid clean my place. We’re further away from The Flintstone era with all our latest gadgets and doodads yet in still, I’m not quite sure if the dating scene is better with texting.
As a single woman, I receive more texts messages from men stating what they want me to be and what they want to do to me instead of them putting their words into action. For example, I have had men tell me, “you’re going to be my wife one day,” yet have made absolutely no plans to take me out. Let me say this now, if you can’t get me to a meal, you can’t be my life partner. Or, there is the guy who texts about giving the best massages or the best foot rubs or they can make the best steak, stew, casserole, etc.…and never come through to show off their magic. Then there is the man who tells me he can make my body feel like no one has ever made it feel. Insert blank stare here. Well, I’m about to hurt some feelings because these are the men, I call PAM…Pussy Ass Muthafuccas.
PAM is the man that will have you married, having his babies, going on trips around the world, and saving for a great retirement…all in his head and through text messages. PAM is the dude that will text you Wednesday and say he’s free this coming up weekend and you won’t hear from him until the following Monday when he texts you and ask, “what did you do this weekend?” Or, my favorite text, “Damn baby, I wish I could’ve seen you this weekend.” Really PAM? Then PAM will text you a random photo of himself like you really want to see his face in your phone. Insert eyeroll here. PAM is the man with no plans and wondering why he’s in the friendzone.
I’m pre-text, pre-social media and pre-thirsty era. This means, I dated at a time when men and women communicated without technical distractions. One wasn’t called “thirsty” because they liked someone and was trying to put their time and energy into that person. Whomever uses thirsty to describe someone who likes them must be under the age of thirty-five. I was on the dating scene when men picked up the phone and called. ILOVE the sound of a man’s voice. We’re walking around with computers in our pockets and eyeing it every two minutes waiting for a message or call just to ignore someone who final does take the time to reach out. I’ve had someone text me, Iimmediately respond, and that PAM doesn’t reply for hours. I then begin asking, “where in the hell did you go?” Should I notify the authorities? Did he get snatched? Did someone grab him and put him in an underground sex trafficking ring? Damn, he JUST texted me. Talk about Casper the Friendly.
I also remember men coming to your house to pick you up with a small token just to say he was interested. A rose or your favorite candy would be the thing to start the date off right. I know we live in a day and age where everyone isn’t taking their medication properly and you don’t want every Tom, Dick and JayQuan knowing your home address, but we can meet at the restaurant.
All I’m saying is real men show action and they let more than their phones do the talking. Thank you to the brotha who invited me over for homemade French Toast a few weeks ago. That meant the world to me and we’ll have to do it again. Thank you to the brotha who took me out for French Toast recently. I appreciate that! Damn, I’m showing my weakness…French Toast.
Stop using technology as your crutch. Stand up and stand out! Go for what you know! Stop acting like a bitch and stop being a PAM.
“I’ve been texting for a year with a couple of guys without ever going on a date with them.” ~ Chloe Sevigny – actress, model and fashion designer
2 thoughts on “Texting and Dating Do Not Mix”
Like myself,you grew up in an era way before all the social media explosion,so I can definitely relate. I’m proud of being a “Southern Gentleman” just how I was raised. I got burned a few times,but I definitely believe in real dates,romance and the like. Corny and outdated as it may seem I like asking a woman out,the calling,late night phone conversations and overall courting if you will,in a relationship. Technology has absolutely done it’s share of damage to relationships,but I we have to continue to seek the real relationships that are fulfilling to us as individuals and not compromise or wants,needs or values regardless of technology or gigabyte love.
Even some of the old school has fallen for the texting trap. There are times to do it and not to do but I love hearing a voice. It makes a difference.
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