Men, if no woman has said it to you, I am going to say it… I apologize to you.
Today’s post is dedicated to men that are out here being true to their wives, working hard and taking care of home yet they are getting no love. I apologize to you.
I know several men that are married, work hard, pay the majority, if not all the bills and their wives are not helping to hold up their end of the marriage bargain. Either they are not helping financially, with household duties or not having sex. Fellas, I have a little secret to tell you.
What I have to tell you is not really a secret, it’s an unspoken “thing” that happens. Many women are not prepared, trained, talked to, taught or shown how to be wives. We are more prepared for a wedding, than a marriage. Some women have been planning their wedding since they can remember.
In the meantime, your lover (before she became your wife) knew the theme of the wedding, what colors she wanted, who was going to be her maid of honor and her bridesmaids, the song she was going to walk down the aisle to and the flavors of the three tier cake. Her mother and her sisters were adding other details such as how she should wear her hair, what accessories would be needed, the flowers and what pastor in what church was going to officiate this beautiful ceremony.
Her best friends have been helping her plan the bachelorette party since high school. The matching shirts, the cheap tiara she was going to wear and of course the weekend getaway and the male strippers have been thought out way before you were even on the scene. As every groom-to-be knows, the wedding has nothing to do with you. Only the “I do” part is where you come in and make yourself known.
While all this planning for the wedding, bachelorette party and the honeymoon are being discussed among women, it’s rare that we as women are getting “the talk” on how to keep you guys as husbands.
Women have issues that can change everything about us. From shifting hormones, getting older, going through menopause, to vaginal dryness and other things that stop us from being romantic. If you’re a husband who is paying the majority or all of the bills, taking care of the tasks that are deemed as a “man’s job” and have made your wife’s life comfortable, she should be ashamed for not trying to be a better spouse to you. I apologize to you.
The following shows how easily it is to fall into a pattern of self-regard. If this is occurring in your relationship, now is the time to take steps to mend your marriage or dissolve it. You must stand in your truth and find your happiness.
7 Signs You’re Being a Selfish Wife
Paying nothing. As a working woman you get your check and you do whatever you want with it except help pay bills. If you know you’re household is suffering financially and you’re not helping decrease debt, you’re being selfish and need to rethink how you do your finances. A couple should not live in financial strife when there is more than one income in the house.
Withholding sex. I understand it’s your body however, when you married it’s not just your body alone now. If there are deeper issues within the marriage, proper conversation and professional help is needed.
Ostracizing. If you make your husband feel unwelcomed in the home you share or you try to get the children and other relatives on “your side,” you’re creating an atmosphere of exclusion. This slowly stops him from being a part of your everyday life and causes breakdowns on various levels of your relationship.
Being dirty. Not keeping up with household chores and not cooking makes for an extremely negative environment. An unkept house brings anyone’s mood down. Home is a place of refuge from the rest of the world and if there is chaos at home, there is chaos in the mind. Clean up!
Letting yourself go. A woman should always keep her hygiene up and her hair, nails, and clothes clean. From head to toe, inside and outside a woman should always look presentable and be healthy. Wearing dirty clothes, looking unkept, not exercising and unhealthy eating will put a damper in your forever, ever marriage. Get yourself together.
No Compromise. It is not all about you, honey. You are a married woman and you have a husband. The rule, “my way or the highway” has been played out for quite some time. Learn how to compromise and bring peace to your home and marriage.
Being ungrateful. A simple “thank you” when your husband does something for you would be welcomed and appreciated. Stop thinking you’re owed just because you’re his wife. It takes two to be decent and as long as someone is trying, everyone needs to try as well.
I realize each marriage has its own cross to bear but sometimes couples put unnecessary weight on one another instead of trying to live their best lives. Do not miss out on an opportunity to be with the love of your life. If you want your marriage to work, make the necessary changes to have a healthy, loving relationship.
2 thoughts on “Men, I Apologize”
As always, you write truth, facts, and honest expression of topics that most are uncomfortable with discussing or acknowledging, and taking accountability and ownership of . I thank you for being you and doing what you are doing. Please continue and keep it going. It is much needed and I much appreciate it. 🤗❤️🌹
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Thank you so much for taking the time to read Chocolate Cocaine. Trust me, it is very much appreciated. I want us all to be successful in our relationships however, if you’re not holding up your end of the bargain, the entire thing goes to hell. As much as I’m all for “girl power,” when we’re wrong, we are wrong!