How do you know that you’re a good lover? Has someone complimented you on your lovemaking skills? Are you going by the physical reaction of your lover? Or, is this something you’re believing for yourself just because?
Do you know if you’re a terrible lover? Maybe you know you do so-so during sex but as long as you get yours, it doesn’t matter. Let’s look at 10 tips to be a DOPE ASS LOVER!
- Be attentive. Pay special attention to your lover in day to day interactions. Notice their likes, dislikes and listen to conversations you’re having with them daily. Small things can lead to wonderful experiences in the bedroom. Yes, while in the thrones of lovemaking give them special attention too. It’s the details that makes a difference.
- Make the effort. Whatever you do with your lover, make the effort! Don’t half-ass in the romance department. If you give your lover a massage, do it with love and care. Use quality massage oil, warm it up and put in the time. Whatever you do, do it like you would want your mate to do it for you. Put in the work.
- Be the student, be the teacher. Be openminded enough to be willing to learn and to teach. You don’t know everything and neither does your mate. When something new is presented to you by your mate, take time to learn. Then be patient with your lover when you become the teacher. The worst thing is to make someone feel bad when they may not understand or catch on to a new concept you’re incorporating into your sex life.
- Be an effective communicator. I cannot stress this enough on how important communication is in a relationship and most importantly, during sex. If you want to get a message across to your lover, be effective. Don’t automatically assume they know or, they’ll catch on quickly or that you are communicating clearly. Communication is key to all doors!
- Make your lover feel SEXY! Compliment your lover! Make them feel your love. Let them know you appreciate their body, you love their thick thighs, you can’t keep your hands out of their hair, you can’t wait to taste their tantalizing skin! Make them feel alive with your words!
- Be engaged. Be in the moment, be present. Do not rush. Take your time. The world moves quickly for everything we do, when it comes to spending quality time with your lover during a sensual moment, let’s not hurry.
- Don’t do porn scenes. This is the only don’t on the list because I had a flashback of an ex-lover who tried to imitate what he apparently saw on a porn movie and it did not go well. Do not watch porn and try to be like the professionals especially if this hasn’t been communicated prior to your lovemaking session. For the record, I didn’t see him long after that act.
- Experiment. Don’t let my “don’t” above stop you from trying new things. This is how we take our lovemaking to the next level. We try a little of this, a little of that and next thing you know…POW! We did something amazing! With experimentation comes trust, good communication and patience. Go for it!
- Be selfless. Sex is not just about you being satisfied. It is about you satisfying your lover, creating intimate memories, and having good sensual moments. Being selfless is about sexual balance between you and your lover. Decide to give your mate all of you and the best part of you, and your mate should do the same thing. That will be total fulfillment all the way around.
- Be playful. Have fun. Lovemaking is about touching all senses in a good way. Play games, dress up, just have a good time!
Tell me what you would add to this list of being a dope ass lover. What things make you King or Queen in your bedroom? I’d love to hear from you!
2 thoughts on “Tips to be a Dope Ass Lover”
Damn Karma Eve, in that picture above you’ve got this look on your face like it’s about to go down!!!
Now as far as this post is concerned, there is a lot of truth in everything you stated above. The one thing that resonated with me was the part about being selfless. I think that’s something that we all have to learn. When I started having sex a few decades ago, it was about me. When it became about her, the quality of the sex I was having became infinitely better.
I would also say that one has to be open minded and also imaginative. Over the years I got a few requests from women that surprised me. You’ve both gotta be on the same page when it comes to sex or have a desire to go where your lover wants to go……so to speak. When that happened for me, sometimes I said yes and sometimes I said…..hell no, I’m not doing that.
Thank goodness as we grow and have experiences, we learn and we become better. Some days it can be about one person more than the other but if you want connection and quality sex, it’s best to be selfless.