I’m trying to keep my life as normal as possible because I’m unable to go home due to our lights being out from the tornado that occurred Tuesday. Not only is it mega-dark at night in my neighborhood, but it’s cold inside and the water is cold as well. Writing helps me to focus. I’m happy to have Chocolate Cocaine at this time. Thank you for all the phone calls, text messages and your prayers. They are truly needed. On with the show!
I don’t know where I was or what I was doing on 9-11 when the planes hit the towers. I don’t remember where I was when Michael Jackson or Prince died. I never remember where I was when it comes to big world events. That also means I don’t remember whose nor when was the first time I sucked dick.
Last week, before the tornado hit Nashville and rearranged most of our lives, I had an interesting conversation with a friend of mine who was driving from Atlanta. We were discussing new terms such as, pansexual and fluid which the new generation uses, and what it means to them, compared to the older generation. We talked about various issues couples face sexually and how it can destroy a marriage if not corrected. We even asked the “have you ever…” questions. You know, having grown folk conversation without judgement and strings attached.
With all we shared, I felt comfortable enough to tell him I want to improve on sucking dick. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve never had a complaint but, am I really doing it ultra-good? I have a girlfriend who absolutely loves giving head and claims that is one of her best sexual assets. If you remember, at one point in time black women giving and receiving oral sex was a huge NO! We have come a long way.
I know all the rules of orally pleasing my man and yes, I do abide by those rules. Just to name a few – No teeth. Be gentle. Use my hands. Play with the balls. Most importantly, just because it’s called a blowjob, don’t act like it’s a job. I will admit there is one detail I have semi-done but not put effort into doing which is the eye contact thing. Recently an ex-boyfriend told me, he loves when he’s getting his dick sucked and a woman gives him eye contact. I told him, I have looked up to see if the receiver was enjoying it, but just long enough to see he was enjoying it. To me, it comes off as creepy. He laughed and told me, it’s far from creepy but more of a turn on. I informed him, the next time I had the opportunity, I would be more conscious about my gaze as I’m satisfying my man orally and give better eye contact.
I did ask my ex how my head game was, since he was one to receive such gift. His reply was, “Are you kidding me? You give great head.” I have no other choice but to take his word for it but still in my mind, I feel like something more can be done. I have used whipped cream, Cool Whip, an orange, topped it with ice cream, sucked it, slurped on it, deep-throated it, sucked it upside down and more. No, I haven’t tried the grapefruit technique done by Tiffany Haddish, in the movie, Girls’ Trip, but I do keep tricks up my sleeve.
I want to make sure my technique is smooth, that I’m 100% confident in what I’m doing and of course, my lover is pleased beyond his wildest dreams. There is behavior I am not comfortable with that will make me stop trying all together. If you are the man to do this, it’s not happening.
- Telling me to spit on your dick. That’s that porn-like shit I am not interested in
- Fucking my mouth like it’s my vagina. Calm down! Let me do what I do and if you feel the need to move, your stroke should be a gentle motion
- Pushing my head. I don’t need you force feeding or guiding me
- Over instructing. If you must keep giving directions, I don’t need to do you and you don’t need to be done by me
- Thinking you must return the favor. I like your way of thinking however, sometimes I want to make it all about you. Don’t keep trying to eat your way through me, I may not be in the mood for it. Just enjoy my treat to you.
These are my oral pet peeves, I’m not speaking for every woman. Fellas, what are some techniques you can share with me and other women to add to our oral repertoire, drop your suggests in the comment section.
Ladies, what are some special moves you do to create a mind blowing experience with your lover when your mouth is filled with him?
Special announcement: According to factretriever.com, white men and women are the most active oral sex participants with white men performing oral sex earlier than all other demographic groups.