Welcome and Sleep with my Wife…Please

The Himba tribe with a population of over 50,000 are in Northern Namibia. This unique group of indigenous African people believe in the polygamous lifestyle and arranged marriages.

Once puberty sets in, fathers immediately partner up their young daughters for marriage. However, there is more to the Himba tribe that catches the attention of outsiders with their special sex practice.

Okujepisa Omukazendu is a practice that means, “offering wife to guest.” When a friend of the husband visits a couple’s home, tradition is to allow the visitor to have sex and sleep with his wife. The practice is considered normal in the Himba culture. It is taught from childhood and is shown it is a privilege to be involved in this practice. The village would be shocked if someone refused to participate.

Okujepisa Omukazendu is left up to the discretion of the husband and the wife must submit. While the guest is the wife’s bedmate for the night, the husband sleeps in another room, in another hut or if space isn’t available, he will sleep outside. This is the husband showing happiness of seeing his guest.

Supporters of this practice say this reduces jealousy and builds relationships. They state it prevents cheating, allows sexual freedom and brings variety into the marriage.

Uziruapi Tjavara, who is the chief of otjikaoko Traditional Authority, supports and defends this practice. He stated in an article for Hadithi.Africa, “Sharing of wives is a unique traditional custom that smothers jealousy amongst both sexes and strengthens friendships. I advocate its continuation, together with HIV-AIDS education to minimize infections.

There are women who fully support the practice as well. One woman who has been shared with a friend of her husband stated, “I have no problem with the arrangement. It’s good because it’s part of our culture, why should we change it?”  

Wives too can give her friends to her husband when her friends visit but this rarely happens.

What are your thoughts about this traditional sex custom of the Himba tribe?

Erotic Blessings,

Karma Eve

Himba Tribe Photo by Trevor Cole/Bancroft Images

Published by: Karma Eve

Karma Eve is an author, writer, a former erotic spoken word artist, and an erotic historian that tells the stories of Black women who have broken barriers and blazed trails for Black women who stand strong in their sexual spaces today.

Tags16 Comments

16 thoughts on “Welcome and Sleep with my Wife…Please”

  1. I like the phrase Uziruapi Tjavara used. “Sharing of wives is a unique traditional custom that smothers jealousy amongst both sexes and strengthens friendships”. I believe this shows a form of respect as well as freedom. These are close friends/good people that you feel comfortable with. Since childhood they understood the concept & can see examples all around them.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Okay, but you’re saying I don’t get to watch? Or at least tap in or tag team the wife like in wrestling? Why do I have to sleep in the other room?

    All jokes aside, it seems kinda strange that the husband has to lay in a bed by himself, while your guest gets to make the beast with two backs with your wife in the next room.


    1. That’s the husband’s way of showing how happy he is to see his buddy. It may work out well for the wife as well. This is her chance to get a taste of something new.


      1. I’m happy all the time Karma Eve, I just don’t think this scenario would make me particularly happy.

        Still there is something about this that intrigues.


      2. It’s interesting, no doubt. I don’t think I would be interested in my husband’s friends though. I wonder if friends come to visit knowing what will happen.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Maybe the hubbies friends really like his wife and keep making up excuses to come and visit.

        Even worse, what if one of the friends is a real pig or you’re not attracted to him?

        C’mon…….this is just weird. It’s different…..but I guess for me, this just wouldn’t work.


      4. Well there is something else about this that kinda bothers me…..but maybe that’s just me.

        It seems as if a woman and her body are something for the man to own and freely allow his friends to partake of when visiting. There’s something about that, that really bothers me deep down in my soul.


  3. I don’t like the idea of the wife not having a choice and discretion is left only to the husband. Aside from that I think husbands should be offered to the guest of the wife as well, equal oppotunity. Traditions are great but as time moves on, we should adapt them a little to ensure preservation if not it might die out completely.


    1. They say the wife gets to share her husband with a visiting friend but that rarely happens. It’s difficult to get people to change things that they have been doing all of their lives and for decades. That is embedded in their brains. I wonder what would happen if women began to speak up and out?

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I agree. It’s very different for women in other cultures as well because of customs and traditions. It will be interesting to see how we evolve as the years progress.

        Liked by 1 person

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