A People Magazine headline stated Jada Pinkett Smith Says Her Grandma Taught Her ‘Self-Pleasuring’ at 9 Years Old.
During one of Jada’s show episodes, Red Table Talk, she discussed with her mother and her then-teenage daughter, Willow, how her grandmother was instrumental in self-sexual discovery. At nine years old, Jada’s grandmother had “the talk” with her regarding the importance of knowing sexual pleasure comes from self before it comes from anyone else.
“She didn’t want me to fall into the hands of a man, and if he gave me pleasure, to think that that was him,” Jada said during her talk.
In the discussion, Jada revealed that as she was abstaining from men, she explored self-pleasuring and became what she described as addicted to multiple orgasms. When she learned to give herself five orgasms a day, she felt she needed to refocus her energy. (Click the link below to see video)
Several of the respondents in the book, Thank You, Ma’am, that I am writing, shared their experiences and advice to younger Black women regarding finding pleasure within themselves and not giving power away to lovers regarding sexual gratification. Some women advised not to be quick to credit your mate as giving you sexual fulfillment, and you just become the receiver but know that sexual joy and pleasure first comes from your mind and body.
Many of the women in Thank You, Ma’am did not learn they were in charge of the pleasure they gave and received until they were much older. They did not realize that sexual power was already in them. It took time and experience to help access that energy. Some of the women are still learning this critical lesson now.
Here are five ways to conquer your sexual superpower:
- Know yourself: Take time to know what you like and don’t like. Do not allow yourself to be limited sexually. There is plenty to explore, learn, and add to your wheelhouse.
- Remember, you are the CEO of your sexual pleasure: Your lover is your assistant to help guide you into a world of sexy goodness. They are not the boss of your sexual pleasure.
- Know that you are entitled to some good ass sex! Stop accepting mediocre lovemaking and go out and find what you crave and deserve.
- Cultivate an amazing sexual support group: You can have great discussions with close friends or find groups online that may interest you if your friends are too prudish. Communicate by asking questions and getting to know other like-minded individuals.
- Love yourself! You are your sexual superhero! If you are not showering yourself with genuine love, no one else will either. Take care of your health, your body from the inside out, and the rest of you on other levels. Then, when others see you do it, they will do it for you too.
Tell me how you learned to conquer your sexual superpower. Is this something you have always been in control of, or did you learn this over time?